Category Archives: Genealogy

BACK HOME

Well have been home for a few days now.  The apartment wasn’t a total disaster like I thought it would be, so that was nice. LOL  I still have things to do…put clothes away (we had a lot of clothes to wash).  I have way too many things that I don’t even use anymore, that are just taking up space.  Though I hate getting rid of things (yep pretty much a hoarder…but not as bad as the people on TV…thank God), but I know that I need to.  It’s not like I can take it with me.  I don’t want to leave this big mess for people to deal with when I’m gone.  No, I don’t plan on going anywhere any time soon, but you never know.  It’s better to be at least a little prepared, right?  I have so many books to read…that I WANT to read, but for some reason, can’t just sit down & find the time to do that.  I have diet books, self-help books, spiritual books, paranormal romances, historical romances, biographies & autobiographies…some are actual books & others are on my Kindle.  There’s always more that I want to read.  I try to stay out of bookstores & away from library sales.  Only because I can’t even read the books that I already have!  I need to just make it a priority.  I need to use my time better.  I’m really bad about that.  I’m sure I have pissed off plenty of people because I’m never on time for anything.  If I tell you I’m going to be there at 5:00 pm, you can expect me around 8:00 pm.  OK, maybe not THAT bad, but close.  I need to respect other people & realize that their time is just as valuable as mine & they don’t need or want to be sitting around waiting on me.  So yeah…time gets away from me quite often.  I want to work on my genealogy some more, I want to run my store on shopify.  I about have it ready…it’s just getting it to where I want it to be.  I’m not web designer.  I have a learning disability.  It takes me twice as long to figure out things that come easily to most other people.  I get frustrated, because I waste a lot of time trying to figure things out or having to go back & do it over again, because I didn’t think about something that should’ve been done the first time.  I get stuck in the details.  I get so mad at myself.  It would be nice to just be able to KNOW how to do things or at least to be able to LEARN them like a normal person.  Anyway!!

I have been trying to be a more positive person.  To put “good vibes” out into the Universe.  I have come to the conclusion that it’s quite difficult to be positive or to think positive thoughts all of the time.  I have always been more of a negative, gloom & doom type of person.  Always expecting the worst.  Which SUCKS. It actually helps in the mornings to say to myself  “It’s going to be a good day.” Though sometimes as the day wears on, I sometimes don’t feel that way. LOL  That usually has to do with other people around me being negative though.  I absorb their negativity or something.  It’s very draining.  Then I just need to go home or somewhere alone & chill out for a bit.  

My weight wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be when I got back to town, though I was up a couple of pounds.  I was afraid that I would be up like 10 lbs or something. Seriously…I can’t put on weight pretty damn easily.  My blood sugar has been staying pretty low without medication. I see the doctor on Thursday, but now not sure that I want or need to.  I was concerned because it was high.  Now it’s been low…too low for me actually.  In the high 80’s thru the 90’s.  I feel nauseous constantly which is annoying as hell.  I don’t know if one has to do with the other, but regardless, I get tired of it.  Then today, I went with mom to Wal-Mart & a couple of other stores to get some groceries.  After it was all done & I was done taking my stuff by the apartment for the boys to take up & after helping mom take her groceries in…I felt ridiculously tired.  You would’ve thought that I had just run a marathon or something.  I know I’m overweight, that I have Fibromyalgia & all of that….but damn.  It’s not easy having a body that feels like it’s out of your control.  I guess all people feel like that to some extent as they get older.  Or maybe it’s just me.  

Well going to call it a night soon.  Have some things to do tomorrow, including helping with schoolwork, so need to get at least some rest.  For some reason, I don’t like sleeping as much as I used to.  Yes I’m tired, but to make myself just stay in bed or to not get up in the middle of the night & get on the computer is very difficult.  I think it’s because I have so many other things I want to do & I feel a sense of urgency to get them all done.  Yet I NEED some decent rest.  

RESOLUTIONS FOR 2017

I usually don’t do resolutions anymore, because they are out the window the first week of January.  But I want to  change that this coming year. I don’t know how 2017 will be, none of us do.  A lot of people are glad to see 2016 end. With all the celebrity deaths this year, the nonsense with the presidential elections whether you voted for Hilary or Trump…in my opinion we were screwed either way.  No year is all good or all bad. Though I would like to have one totally FABULOUS year (Universe are you listening?).  I only have a few resolutions.  Some I will totally stick to, others I know will probably become less important as the year goes on & life starts kicking me in the ass.  What are YOUR resolutions?  Here are mine: 

  1.        To continue on my weight loss journey. I don’t know what I weighed last New Year’s Eve, but when I started losing weight in the middle of July 2016, I was 325 lbs. I have lost 22 lbs since then. I could have lost a lot more, but can’t go back & change that now, so will just move forward from here. I would LOVE to lose 100 lbs by next New Year’s Eve & it IS possible. I will just have to really focus & keep my eye on the big picture. So right now…starting out the New Year, I’m 303 lbs. It would be so amazing if next year at this time I could be 203 lbs or even in the 100’s! Something to work towards for sure. 
  2.         To write in this blog DAILY for the entire year. I don’t think that this will be too difficult to stick to. I find writing therapeutic & I need to do it more often. Not just to vent or rant, but also to keep track of things & be able to look back & remember. I may be “only” 47 years old, but my memory SUCKS. I also write in my “notebook journal.” I have kept it up for 3 1/2 years now…a record for me. I’m on notebook #13!. I sometimes write in it daily & other times a few times a month. Hopefully someday, my great-great grandchildren or SOMEONE will be interested in reading them. 
  3.         To be more active, to find what makes me happy & do those things, to not let my Fibromyalgia & the pain associated with it to rule my life. To not let it dictate what I can and can’t do. Find “home remedies” or other things that will keep it in check. So I can DO things. Not be so damn tired all the time, be in pain all the time. Even if I am…to PUSH myself to get out & DO things & LIVE, instead of just letting life pass me by & existing. To read more books, listen to more music, binge watch more TV shows on Netflix (gotta have that!), to go more places, hang out with friends more, be more social (as much as I can force myself to do that…very much an introvert). 
  4.        To work on my genealogy more. I have done quite a bit, but then life gets in the way & it’s laid aside for “another day.” We only get so many days…so I need to quit putting it off. I know that not everyone is interested in their family history, but my middle son, Dominic is & I would like to leave things for him so he knows & also so he can look more from there if he wants to.  

I think those are the main ones for me.  I was feeling a bit sorry for myself earlier, because I will be home alone for New Year’s Eve, but it gives me time to read, watch TV, sleep. LOL Will definitely watch the ball drop from Times Square!  That’s a must!  I have been pretty sick all week, so don’t want to go to mom’s (which I did last year), because she doesn’t need to be getting sick & neither does my pregnant niece or her almost 2 year old. Dominic is down there with them, Phillip & Matthew are going to their aunt’s house.  So yep…just me. Kinda weird actually.  Don’t remember the last time I was totally alone on New Year’s Eve.  A new experience!  I hope all of you have a very safe & happy New Year’s Eve & an amazing New Year!!