We have finally gotten our first snow of the season today!  Which is weird, considering I live in a small town in Colorado that is surrounded by mountains!  The mountains have gotten a bit of snow before now, but none here in town until today.  The temperature is only in the 20’s at the moment.  It’s one of those days that you just want to stay in bed with a nice, soft blanket & a good book.  Instead, I had to go pay bills.  Which put me in a not so great mood.  Yes it’s great getting money…but not so great when it’s instantly gone.  I have like $116 for food & things for the entire month.  That’s it. Definitely none for Christmas presents. I was going to get family pictures taken of the boys & I for Christmas cards.  I have cards that I had gotten on sale last year after Christmas & I have stamps.  What I don’t have is money to get the pictures developed. which is absolutely ridiculous. We were going to do them today at my mom’s friends’ house, since she has a fireplace that we could take them in front of.  Usually we take them outside by the river or a lake, but thought it would be easier to do it inside this year.  Now it doesn’t really matter, I guess. For one, my ex had our middle son babysitting his grandson (well his gf’s grandson), but it’s pretty much the same thing.  So we weren’t able to get it done today.  We could possibly do it tomorrow outside…but it’s going to be cold & snowy. Which also isn’t a big deal, since we have done that in years past.  Now it’s just the whole “not having money” thing that is annoying me & making me not want to do it.  I have school pictures of my two youngest that I could just put in the cards & maybe type a “Christmas Letter” to go along with it like I used to do, before the depression around the Holidays started kicking my ass. But we didn’t do a family picture last year & I really wanted to do one this year.  So maybe I will just do one & keep it for us.  I don’t know.  The whole thing just depresses me.  I know I complain a lot, but sometimes that is what a blog is for.  I, for one, can’t pretend I’m happy when I’m not.  I AM grateful for a place to live, a car to get around in, my children, my mom, the rest of my family & I’m definitely thankful for our health.  I just let life get me down sometimes.